I was reading about one of the most controversial themes of humanity today: abortion.
Apparently, the core of the discussion revolves around whether to define at what time of pregnancy the fetus is considered a human life or not. I say human life, because if we defend the right to life, we can't eat even plants. There are those who say that from the moment that there was fertilization, the fetus is a human being and therefore it's murder to destroy it. There are those who say it's just going to be human from the 12th week, when the neural receptors are more developed.
Honestly, I was reading descriptions of the abortion procedure of babies a bit more formed and I was a little horrified - from the moment you have to break it before removing it... it becomes too much for me.
But that's me. What I've been thinking is that the fact that the discussion revolves around this argument, might be an absurd intellectualization of something that is much more natural. And despite knowing that many women are against abortion, I still think it is a discussion somewhat sexist. For me, the feeling of the woman is essential in this story. Being a woman, I feel that someone who was forced to create and nurture a child she didn't want, it's quite possible that she rejects the child. I personally don't think I would reject it, but I can fully understand the sentiment, and I'd never force a woman to have a child.
In nature, animals kill newly hatched offspring all the time. And not only if they're defective - they kill kittens if there are too many of them for the number of tits, if food is scarce, or for reasons that we can't even suspect - the mothers simply lie down on the offspring. Human women practice abortion by the thousands ever since there are oral tradition to report it. Since forever, there were herbs, charms, procedures of all types. Historically, women risk their lives to not bear children.
How do you turn to someone and say - it's your problem, get a belly, get fat, have dizziness, sweat, eat like a bear, drop your studies, leave work, give up your plans for the next 5, 10, 20 years, cry, feel bad, go through the pain of childbirth, get a baby, have the pain of breastfeeding, find new friends, find school, pay the school, give vaccines ... Forget your life, all for this little cell that is there within you.
Sure, you screwed up, you solve it - I agree with that. But I won't ever force anyone to have a child. However wonderful the experience is, the troubles are also, and you have to be prepared to accept it. It is an enormous task, which will last the rest of your life.
An that's without mentioning that abortion is a public health problem. Today, most pro-abortion organizations seek to reduce the problems that occur due to illegal abortions more than they really want to defend the idea that a fetus is or isn't a human being.
Today, my position is this: I do not recommend abortion, but I think the mother should decide. If I have the opportunity to argue with the person, I will try to convince her to keep her son - but to oblige, never.
Sure - here in Brazil abortion is illegal. It's a crime, murder. Words that are strong enough to burden the consciousness of anyone.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Oh, life
Sometimes it's too complicated.
Today was an interesting day. I rediscovered the writings of some ancient time of mine, prior to 2003. That part was good, reminded me of old crushes and others not so old, the start of a relationship, and even doubts I had at the time. Left me with a good taste of nostalgia in my mouth.
I talked a bit with Má, I heard a cool song on YouTube, and I decided to see Avatar, because after all it must be the last week that it is on the movies.
This was the somewhat nagging part, to decide, because I was supposed to go with Alex, but we never got to. I tried to call Caio at 19h30, the session was at 20h40, but he was in class. I was turn down, almost gave up, but I took my purse to leave, and as I walked past the living room I had the idea to warn/invite my father, and he went with me.
I liked the movie, of course I loved the animals, the beautiful connection they make with people, I was somewhat shocked to see so many deaths on both sides. Human deaths were slightly marred for a people who valued life so much.
Anyway. Goodnightbye.
Today was an interesting day. I rediscovered the writings of some ancient time of mine, prior to 2003. That part was good, reminded me of old crushes and others not so old, the start of a relationship, and even doubts I had at the time. Left me with a good taste of nostalgia in my mouth.
I talked a bit with Má, I heard a cool song on YouTube, and I decided to see Avatar, because after all it must be the last week that it is on the movies.
This was the somewhat nagging part, to decide, because I was supposed to go with Alex, but we never got to. I tried to call Caio at 19h30, the session was at 20h40, but he was in class. I was turn down, almost gave up, but I took my purse to leave, and as I walked past the living room I had the idea to warn/invite my father, and he went with me.
I liked the movie, of course I loved the animals, the beautiful connection they make with people, I was somewhat shocked to see so many deaths on both sides. Human deaths were slightly marred for a people who valued life so much.
Anyway. Goodnightbye.
Monday, April 12, 2010
To be designer - part II
Let me start by quoting Marina, because she wrote something that I've felt since I came back to blog world, and I completely mirror her feelings:
"Today I read the blog of my sister and decided to leave a comment. It's kind of funny how even though we don't meet or talk so much, I feel we are always in sync. We live different things, we make different decisions, but I almost always identify myself with what she thinks. It's kind of hard, to be so close to someone who has a different life. I think it's sometimes hard not to want to be in her skin. Of course I feel that sort of thing towards all people I admire, but it's more frequent in this case."
And I will continue commenting on what she said on her blog. This is for Mali, for my friends, designers or architects, for my family, or anyone who is interested.
I'm terrible at design.
I am. I think I'm smart, fine, and I think I can see things from different viewpoints, I like a lot to think of processes and people, and I end up doing projects because I have to (in the office or in life). But I suck at it. I'm a good analyst, I can arrive at a reasonable program, I can see consistency or not, I can think of ten different ways to solve a problem - but I can't solve a blank page without ending up in tears. When I start, I need to create about 15 options that are everything - ugly, clumsy, flimsy, inadequate, completely wrong, dull, lifeless, seems the great-grandmother's coffee table, or it's cracked for no reason, inconsistent. I need to draw without thinking (and incidentally I don't draw well), and must look at the results without evaluating them a lot - or I'll just give up. That's until I arrive to a solution I don't hate.
Project is an endless torture.
Then, with evaluation of the supervising professor (one even scribbled things on my drawing), it's easier, as I enter the part that I can do - evaluate, weigh criteria, modify, improve. And yet, every time it means a restructuring of the drawing, it is painful. Never as painful as the first concept, but still horrible.
I could only go through FAU because most of the work was done in groups, or at least pairs. With feedback, with others to add their two cents and scribble together, everything becomes infinitely easier. That is, it becomes doable. But as I said on saturday, I prefer not to design. I prefer to use what I know how to do, and that which I consider myself even good at - to coordinate, to take good ideas and organize them, to solve problems, to work with people, not the project itself.
I'll say it was frustrating to see other students with reasonable designs in a few hours, and I could only get a reasonable plan in a few weeks. I often thought of quitting. I didn't quit only because I had Alex, people, and I still think design is a beautiful thing. But that's okay - I always knew that architecture would be difficult - always. I chose the course because it was something I'd find difficult - and often regretted that choice. Flee from our talent is not always the best idea, not to you, nor to the world.
Not that I haven't found myself in there, somehow. If only, within the landscape architecture - whose design is derived almost directly from the program - making it much easier. All I hope is that I can sing in my own note. I don't seek anything else. (Like that's a tiny thing ...)
"Today I read the blog of my sister and decided to leave a comment. It's kind of funny how even though we don't meet or talk so much, I feel we are always in sync. We live different things, we make different decisions, but I almost always identify myself with what she thinks. It's kind of hard, to be so close to someone who has a different life. I think it's sometimes hard not to want to be in her skin. Of course I feel that sort of thing towards all people I admire, but it's more frequent in this case."
And I will continue commenting on what she said on her blog. This is for Mali, for my friends, designers or architects, for my family, or anyone who is interested.
I'm terrible at design.
I am. I think I'm smart, fine, and I think I can see things from different viewpoints, I like a lot to think of processes and people, and I end up doing projects because I have to (in the office or in life). But I suck at it. I'm a good analyst, I can arrive at a reasonable program, I can see consistency or not, I can think of ten different ways to solve a problem - but I can't solve a blank page without ending up in tears. When I start, I need to create about 15 options that are everything - ugly, clumsy, flimsy, inadequate, completely wrong, dull, lifeless, seems the great-grandmother's coffee table, or it's cracked for no reason, inconsistent. I need to draw without thinking (and incidentally I don't draw well), and must look at the results without evaluating them a lot - or I'll just give up. That's until I arrive to a solution I don't hate.
Project is an endless torture.
Then, with evaluation of the supervising professor (one even scribbled things on my drawing), it's easier, as I enter the part that I can do - evaluate, weigh criteria, modify, improve. And yet, every time it means a restructuring of the drawing, it is painful. Never as painful as the first concept, but still horrible.
I could only go through FAU because most of the work was done in groups, or at least pairs. With feedback, with others to add their two cents and scribble together, everything becomes infinitely easier. That is, it becomes doable. But as I said on saturday, I prefer not to design. I prefer to use what I know how to do, and that which I consider myself even good at - to coordinate, to take good ideas and organize them, to solve problems, to work with people, not the project itself.
I'll say it was frustrating to see other students with reasonable designs in a few hours, and I could only get a reasonable plan in a few weeks. I often thought of quitting. I didn't quit only because I had Alex, people, and I still think design is a beautiful thing. But that's okay - I always knew that architecture would be difficult - always. I chose the course because it was something I'd find difficult - and often regretted that choice. Flee from our talent is not always the best idea, not to you, nor to the world.
Not that I haven't found myself in there, somehow. If only, within the landscape architecture - whose design is derived almost directly from the program - making it much easier. All I hope is that I can sing in my own note. I don't seek anything else. (Like that's a tiny thing ...)
Saturday, April 10, 2010
To be designer
You know, the architect is a kind of designer. Or rather, architecture was the origin of design, and over time people discovered that we can form designers without having to teach the whole load of things that's only useful to architecture.
It's funny when you realize that our friends often don't know what we can do for them. I mean, everyone came to tell me that one day I'll design their homes, of course, and obviously I agreed. Or to make reforms. Perfect.
But what many don't know is that we can also design your website, your book, your magazine, your packaging, even your software or business structure. We did a design university course just for that. Not that I understand a lot of business structure, but I spent years learning to think about people in human processes, learning how to process as much information as possible to develop ideas, learning to synthesize knowledge to create projects, learning to work together, learning design processes.
Of course, each person has their own way of dealing with things. There are architects whose speciality is to conduct the actual construction, others that are good at designing homes, others that specialize in graphic design, others who are photographers. But theoretically they all know how to design, changing the theme only changes the speed at which the project goes, and the number of people on the team (designing a residence is relatively fast - because all information is in our heads - designing a stadium requires study and possibly consultations with experts of the sport's world, steel structures, etc.).
It's simple - the more knowledge accumulated in your head, the more you widen your range of design practice.
Particularly, I don't really care for the actual design - I'd rather be a project coordinator, perhaps even an information architect (or whatever that is called in english).
The funny thing today was - a friend needed an opinion of others on a magazine, and none of us had noticed before, there were three designers there, to give informed opinions. Two architects and a publicist. Funny how she hadn't thought we could perform this role. I think we hadn't realized it either, until she showed us the magazine and our designer genes came to light.
It's nice to find out that we can do for our friends even more than they think.
See ya.
It's funny when you realize that our friends often don't know what we can do for them. I mean, everyone came to tell me that one day I'll design their homes, of course, and obviously I agreed. Or to make reforms. Perfect.
But what many don't know is that we can also design your website, your book, your magazine, your packaging, even your software or business structure. We did a design university course just for that. Not that I understand a lot of business structure, but I spent years learning to think about people in human processes, learning how to process as much information as possible to develop ideas, learning to synthesize knowledge to create projects, learning to work together, learning design processes.
Of course, each person has their own way of dealing with things. There are architects whose speciality is to conduct the actual construction, others that are good at designing homes, others that specialize in graphic design, others who are photographers. But theoretically they all know how to design, changing the theme only changes the speed at which the project goes, and the number of people on the team (designing a residence is relatively fast - because all information is in our heads - designing a stadium requires study and possibly consultations with experts of the sport's world, steel structures, etc.).
It's simple - the more knowledge accumulated in your head, the more you widen your range of design practice.
Particularly, I don't really care for the actual design - I'd rather be a project coordinator, perhaps even an information architect (or whatever that is called in english).
The funny thing today was - a friend needed an opinion of others on a magazine, and none of us had noticed before, there were three designers there, to give informed opinions. Two architects and a publicist. Funny how she hadn't thought we could perform this role. I think we hadn't realized it either, until she showed us the magazine and our designer genes came to light.
It's nice to find out that we can do for our friends even more than they think.
See ya.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thoughts
Of course it will not be the happiest thoughts - as much as I'm trying hard to make the transition painless and beautiful, it is not the easiest thing, and even less so because of the lack of communication.
A thought is about Argos. His wounds appeared again, and now my mother is looking for nails grown, red eyes, and other symptoms of illness. We fear not only for him but for us - what do we do if he really is sick. The recommendation is simple - put him down.
Another is about Lú. Cortez, herself. I never imagined I could like her so much, in a distant third year of high school. Nowadays, her easy laugh and tranquillity bring a smile to my face when I see her. She is cheerful and contagious as flowers on a sunny field, or something.
Another is about friends. Lovely friends who came to phone me, call me at gtalk, support me on facebook. As much as I have moments of deep loneliness, as I did on Tuesday, I know I have people I can turn to if I need it. Even Pola, wow, so long... They were rays of light. And I also know that there's more timid friends, who only look from afar, but I feel... that they wouldn't mind providing support. Thank you all.
Another is about Alex. I think he doesn't feel as supported as me, and I really wanted to be able to change it for him. He's tough in the fall, but I think he needs someone to talk to - and I'm not enough anymore. I know he has friends, but I think neither side knows how to build the path.
Another is about chocolate: very good. To eat delicious chocolate while reading Narnia.
Or to read delicious chocolate while eating Narnia, I'm not sure what was the order of that.
A thought is about Argos. His wounds appeared again, and now my mother is looking for nails grown, red eyes, and other symptoms of illness. We fear not only for him but for us - what do we do if he really is sick. The recommendation is simple - put him down.
Another is about Lú. Cortez, herself. I never imagined I could like her so much, in a distant third year of high school. Nowadays, her easy laugh and tranquillity bring a smile to my face when I see her. She is cheerful and contagious as flowers on a sunny field, or something.
Another is about friends. Lovely friends who came to phone me, call me at gtalk, support me on facebook. As much as I have moments of deep loneliness, as I did on Tuesday, I know I have people I can turn to if I need it. Even Pola, wow, so long... They were rays of light. And I also know that there's more timid friends, who only look from afar, but I feel... that they wouldn't mind providing support. Thank you all.
Another is about Alex. I think he doesn't feel as supported as me, and I really wanted to be able to change it for him. He's tough in the fall, but I think he needs someone to talk to - and I'm not enough anymore. I know he has friends, but I think neither side knows how to build the path.
Another is about chocolate: very good. To eat delicious chocolate while reading Narnia.
Or to read delicious chocolate while eating Narnia, I'm not sure what was the order of that.
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